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Joke of the Day

"The USA condemns unprovoked invasion of a sovereign nation."

"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."

"I'm really upset that Vine is getting shut down, because I won't be able to use the phrase, ""do it for the Vine"" anymore... ""Do it or I'll fucking kill you"" just doesn't have the same ring to it."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lion Tamer Barbie ...lion is included; Barbie's head is not"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your place! Knock knock Who's there? Bak bak My chemistry prof said that one today"

"imagine explaining a magazine to a teen today ""yeah it's four bucks, there's like 900 words on 32 pages, and you'll get another next month"""

"You look like the grinch with plastic surgery gone wrong!"

"There's a knock at my door. Jehovah's Witness. I decided to let him in. I go, ""Now what?"" He says, ""I dunno...I never got this far."""

"What's a mouse's favourite record ? Please cheese me !"

"I would tell all of you my favorite chemistry joke... ...but I don't expect to get any reaction."