162011

Joke of the Day

"*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* ""Yes?"" Help my knee is made of magnets"

"It's so cold that I have to take half a Viagra so I won't pee on my shoes."

"Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea..."""

"I tried phone sex for the first time the other day... Didn't really like it though, the phone was too cold."

"Sesame Street never allowed Mrs. Piggy to count to 100. Everytime she made it to 69, she got a frog in her throat."

"Two owls were playing pool. One said ""Two hits."" The other replied ""Two hits to who?"""

"Why Donald Trump might win the election but resign on the first day? He finds out he has to move in to a small house in a black neighborhood!"

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"Inflation joke Due to inflation, a picture is now worth only 436 words. Thanks obama."

"What do The Pope & a Christmas Tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration."