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Joke of the Day

"I live like a king of medieval time. I eat three meals a day, each meal may have meat and spices. I work sitting down."

"Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it."

"Two cats cross a river... first cats name is un deux trois. The second cats name is one two three. Which cat made it across? The second cat because un deux trois cat sank."

"Boarding from what gate?"

"So it's okay for the cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it, I'm ""antisocial"". I call bullshit."

"Fine. I'll rush you to the hospital, but then we're doing what I want."

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"C-sections are like the Digiorno of pregnancy..... It isn't delivery, but it still tastes like one."

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None... he fell."

"I always avoid talking about bungee jumps when meeting new people... I just find it creates a lot of tension."