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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"My wife got mad at me for starting another British TV series... I said, ""don't worry, it'll be over soon."""

"""Ride or die"" seems a bit dramatic. I'm looking for a ""ride or maybe go our separate ways if things aren't working out."""

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they don't like DICKS."

"I got my retainer today So pleathe excuthe me if i talk funny for a few dayth"

"So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard."

"My boss just asked if I'm illiterate, which is offensive because I know exactly who my father is."

"What is pink and has seven dents in it? Snow White's virginity."

"I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier. Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US."

"Rectum, damn near killed him! I always hear this punchline, without the build up part. What are some variations on this classic joke?"