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Joke of the Day

"Just finishing up my taxes and am now a little worried about my tax software. It just recommended I slip across the border into Mexico."

"A boy ate a Pb and jelly sandwich And then died"

"[following girl off elevator] you cant hate snakes and then say u love dragons, because theyre actually extremely similar. in a lot of mytho"

"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."

"If you're American when you enter the bathroom, and American when you exit the bathroom, what are you while you're IN the bathroom? European."

"If a tree falls on a woman, does she make a sound? The real question you have to ask yourself, is what was that tree we doing in the kitchen."

"I used to be great at word play. Once a pun a time."

"That thing your kid said wasn't funny."

"What do you call a Crazy Female Deer? A Doenut"

"Facebook: Hate people you've met. Twitter: Love people you haven't."