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Joke of the Day
"Facebook: Hate people you've met. Twitter: Love people you haven't."
Next Joke
"Being elected President wouldn't give me the level of self-satisfaction I have after a car speeds by me & I end up next to it at a red light"
"If I'm ever on Jeopardy I hope the final category isn't ""Can You Tell These Mumford & Sons Songs Apart."""
"What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ? He died in agony !"
"Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,"
"Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction."
"Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position."
"I bet girls on facebook with the duck faces look for men that make a lot of bread."
"*renames my kids South and East, and leaves them on Kanye's doorstep*"
"A Goat walked into a bar, and the bartender said WTF is a Goat doing in here? the end"