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Joke of the Day

"[following girl off elevator] you cant hate snakes and then say u love dragons, because theyre actually extremely similar. in a lot of mytho"

"Why are Chameleons surprisingly good at flying? Because they are always in duh skies"

"You can't break an electric toothbrush If it stops working, it becomes a toothbrush."

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (no) me neither but enough to break the ice, hi my name is ....."

"I hate when I can't find a decent status update to steal."

"What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus? Dead."

"What do you NEVER call a black man? a friend"

"Who is a man's best friend? The sock, he's always there in hard times."

"Do you know what a Freudian slip is? It's where you say one thing but fuck your mother."

"I hate when my in-laws come. It's such a bitch to clean."