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Joke of the Day

"If you're American when you enter the bathroom, and American when you exit the bathroom, what are you while you're IN the bathroom? European."

"I was eating at a nice dinner last night and realized that we spend a lot of money on something that is just going to turn to shit. But enough about my romantic relationships."

"Sucks when good bands have dumb names. ""What are you listening to?"" ""It's Made Out of Babies, they're really great."" ""..."""

"What did Sigmund Freud do for mother's day? His mom."

"5: Can you cut off the skin? Me: What? 5: *holds up sandwich* the skin M: The crust? 5: yeah M: No, and you sound like a serial killer."

"My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well I was amazed. I never knew they worked."

"Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip? ...because lions only understand .rars"

"Anyone else think they should limit Oscar acceptance speeches to 140 characters like Twitter?"

"Sometimes you have to accept that the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you."

"Because of texting, today's generation has no idea of the horror felt when get caught passing a note in class and having the teacher make you read it out loud!"