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Joke of the Day

"I don't want to alarm anyone but BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!"

"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"

"It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit."

"First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman? Snowballs"

"There are 70,000 Jehovah's Witnesses in Melbourne for a conference. So I'll be answering the door naked this weekend."

"Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)"

"Where do sad Ukrainians go? Crimea River."

"Bonnie Tyler is performing a concert in Greece next month. She'll be singing her classic. I need a Euro."