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Joke of the Day
"Of course I'm not leaving. I'm just going to step outside for a minute. (Runs to car)"
Next Joke
"[therapy] WIFE: he favors our son over our daughter ME: No way, I love whatsherface just as much as I love Johnny"
"I hope I'm never involved in a long trial, mostly because I only own one suit."
"My family has a genetic predisposition for diarrhea ... ... It runs in our jeans."
"It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July."
"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and Jeb Bush? None. They both should have pull out sooner."
"Why is pornhub so busy today? Because it's erection day!"
"Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch."
"A pregnant teen and her baby is thinking the same thing... ""My mom is gonna kill me."""
"I need to give my cat an abortion But every time I throw her down the stairs she just lands on her feet."