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Joke of the Day
"What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"
Next Joke
"WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it."
"Why was everyone saying such kind, loving words to the man? The man was a corpse being buried forever."
"My wife just left me because i cant stop using double negatives. But in my opinion I haven't done nothing wrong."
"How can you tell God is a man? If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate"
"Today, I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize myself... Then, I realized it was a window."
"What sort file do you you need to turn a 1.5 inch hole into a 4.5 inch one? A pedo-file."
"How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb? Hella. How long does it take them? Days."
"Do you know who Candice is?? Candice who?? Candice dick fit in your mouth??"
"What's white and ten inches long? Nothing."