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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run like hell, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth."

"Did you hear about the married Amish woman having an affair? She loved two Mennonite."

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."

"A guy asks his grandmother... ""Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD"". Granny replies, ""Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"""

"Why do people still buy bottle openers? I just don't see the reason for purchasing a bottle opener. I've been using my seat belt for years!"

"Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related"

"What does NASCAR really stand for? Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks"

"I'm sorry I broke your finger, but seriously, what did you expect would happen when you tried to eat the last two fries off my plate?"

"I learned a lot of new stuff from my travel to North Korea... [deleted]"

"How do you keep redditors in suspense? I dunno, I'll tell ya tomorrow"