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Joke of the Day

"Why do people still buy bottle openers? I just don't see the reason for purchasing a bottle opener. I've been using my seat belt for years!"

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye... and then it's fun and games with no depth perception."""

"2 queers walk past the city morgue.. 1st turns to the 2nd and asks "" wanna stop in and suck down a cold one"""

"Free will is good, but free pizza is better."

"My wife is like a hurricane... At the beginning there was a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end I lost my house."

"What do snakes use to build clocks? Metal Gears"

"I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy."

"Pig Breeding by Lena Bacon"

"POLICE: POLICE! OPEN UP! ME: My parents never loved me. POLICE: NOT EMOTIONALLY! OPEN THE DOOR! ME: That makes way more sense."

"i take my gf on a balloon ride to propose. a field of wild flowers spells Women Are Crooks. ""oops sorry."" i apologize. ""that ones for my dad"