141245

Joke of the Day

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."

"A comedian walks into a club and says the punchline."

"Started my new healthy diet today. Breakfast is 2 almonds, I lick an apple for lunch, and dinner is yelling at a picture of myself naked."

"that show ""Intervention"" should just be called ""Haters"""

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? The rooster ( )"

"What do you call an easter extremist? The middle easter bunny"

"Hobbies include: 1. Crying about the past 2. Procrastinating in the present 3. Worrying about the future"

"TEACHER: please take off your hat in class *I take off my hat revealing a slightly smaller hat* ME: I can do this 14 more times"

"How do you shut an Italian up? Tie his hands behind his back"

"Sometimes I just get the urge to belt out The Lion Sleeps Tonight. After all, it's only a whim away."