141245

Joke of the Day

"My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks. I consider his ability rather pedestrian."

"Did you hear about the short sighted circumsizer? He got the sack"

"What flower loves to be in the sun? Sunflower."

"What are the odds of a chronic gambler ever calling the addiction-helpline? No seriously, I've got $100 riding on this."

"What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded? Looks like we have debris all over the place"

"What do you call a Spartan king with a disease? Leonitis"

"What do frogs do when they are depressed? They Kermit suicide."

"Eating out This one time I was eating this chick, then all the sudden I tasted horse cum. I was like, damn grandma, that's how you died."

"Parenting: 1st kid: Document their every move 2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time"

"Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as ""not Bruce Willis"" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling"