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Joke of the Day

"A guy asks his grandmother... ""Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD"". Granny replies, ""Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"""

"A man threw milk at an old woman before... I said how dairy"

"""Wife stabs husband with squirrel"" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?"

"Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints? He couldn't decide what font to use."

"Got really excited when my wife said she was going to teach me something new in the bedroom until she started folding a fitted sheet."

"Wife Wanted ad A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."" :p :D"

"angel: where'd all the zebras go? God: I put 'em in the desert angel: dude their camouflage was for the snow God: I know lol"

"I like my coffee black... So it steals my fatigue."

"Why was the Amish girl kicked out of her community? Too Mennonite"

"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"