67826

Joke of the Day

"Apparently someone has been shot with a starter pistol at the athletics track Police think it may be race related"

"How Does Moses make Tea? HEBREW it!"

"My idiot friend wanted to get into porn. He heard that the camera adds ten pounds."

"I call bullshit on these retro bottles of Coca-Cola. They make you add your own cocaine."

"when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend"

"What's the second fastest thing in the world? > Your asshole pinching shut after dropping a deuce. What's *the* fastest thing in the world? > The ice-cold drop of water that gets in first."

"The only folks who put them passwords on that fancy wi-fi internets is terrorists. This is Merica, land of the free."

"What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickleback."

"I need Volcano puns Anyone have any good volcano puns that I can use?"

"I'm going to the new Tom Cruise movie at midnight. Seeing it on the Edge of Tomorrow."