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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I broke your finger, but seriously, what did you expect would happen when you tried to eat the last two fries off my plate?"

"There's a sale at the Maul Everything's half off"

"My colleague can no longer attend next week's seminar on innuendo... Now I have to fill her slot..."

"No man can hold me down. That's what women are for."

"Have you guys heard about that new broom that's sweeping the nation? I heard it literally leaves its competitors in the dust!"

"Can't believe i actually met a guy named Dick Putinson"

"What's the difference between my jokes and my penis. My jokes don't make women laugh."

"Using a butter knife on steak... it just doesn't cut it."

"Why was there so much chaos at the sperm bank? Because it was first cum first serve."

"INTERVIEWER: And why under skills did you put ""has dominion over bees""? ME: [covered in bee stings] You can cross that one off"