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Joke of the Day

"The software development process i can't fix this *crisis of confidence* *questions career* *questions life* oh it was a typo, cool"

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I 've been tripping all day!"

"Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? You know he's guilty."

"What's the deal with Arab Airlines food... Emirate?"

"Q: Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade? A: The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse Bill Clinton."

"As I looked at myself naked in the mirror I thought to myself... I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea in a minute."

"13: I have a friend that doesn't like baseball, chocolate, or bacon. Me: Pretty sure that's not a friend, bro."

"Me: We should go to the gym more often. Him: I hate it there. It's like a meat market. And I'm the expired meat."

"I swear I won't be undressing you with my eyes again. That REALLY hurt!"

"Too soon? Charlie Sheen's new show: ""2 and a half T-Cells"""