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Joke of the Day

"I saw a Russian woman shouting at her husband It's clear who wears the tracksuit bottoms in that relationship"

"At first I didn't think I'd like having genital warts but now they're really growing on me."

"Republican Health Plan Since Republicans are dismantling Obamacare, they wanted to coin a name for their new health plan. They came up with Nobodycare."

"Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance."

"What do you get when a Mexican and Muslim have a child? A kid who loves halalpenos"

"Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn't make the cut."

"DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates"

"Why is a rat when it spins? The higher it flies, the much."

"Well, a wasp just flew into my house and I hope the fire department gets here soon."

"I asked God for a bike,... I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."