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Joke of the Day

"Republican Health Plan Since Republicans are dismantling Obamacare, they wanted to coin a name for their new health plan. They came up with Nobodycare."

"If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges? Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded."

"I bought my shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but i've been tripping all day!"

"What is worse then a centipede with sore feet? A giraffe with a sore throat"

"Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies"

"While teaching a CPR course, chuck norris actually brought the practice dummy to life"

"[at party] friend: is dave coming? me: cool dave or dave who likes watering holes & has amnesia? Dave: well, well, well..who do we have here"

"What does a feminist and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."

"What do you call a man trying to conceal his boner? The battle of the buldge."

"The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said ""you selfish"" and left... now I am not sure if I should have replied ""yes"" or ""sorry""."