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Joke of the Day

"I asked God for a bike,... I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"I went to the doctor and told him I thought I might be a kleptomaniac. He said, ""Here, take these pills."" So I took them."

"Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine."

"You haven't truly made it on Twitter until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph."

"I went to a cemetery today. The entire time I was there my phone didn't have any service. I must have been in a dead zone."

"Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry."

"Most things in life aren't free. HOWEVER if you run fast enough, they are."

"Open Window Mrs: Hello, please send a MAINTENANCE personnel!! my husband will jump on the window!! Hurry up!! Administrator: Mam why maintenance? Mrs:Bec. the window did not open.."

"I took the Quiz quiz and found out I am ""Which Game of Thrones character are you?"""

"How do you get off a non-stop flight?"