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Joke of the Day

"The student asked his sensei: ""Why do you fight using only your feet?"" Oh, y'know. For kicks."

"I'm pretty sure the whole ""ladies first"" thing was created by a guy just to check out ass."

"I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before"

"I thought up a color that doesn't exist... It's just a pigment of my imagination."

"Want to hear this... *running* joke? Then you better go catch it!"

"Now where do you get off >:( I'm the bus driver, I need to know"

"Don't be silly! A kid's name doesn't affect the type of person they become. Now come and hold my sweet baby Lucifer Charles Manson Hitler."

"Just picked up some cologne from the .99 cent store because chicks dig it when I smell like back child support and restraining orders"

"Relationships are a lot like algebra. You look at X and try to figure out Y."

"Robert De Niro was worried he was having symptoms of Schizophrenia. He went to his doctor and said... ""I heard things."""