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Joke of the Day

"I got really drunk on St. Patty's Day last year and took the bus home. That may not seem like a big deal to you, but I'd never driven a bus before"

"My workplace scheduled Sexual Harassment Training. Needless to say, I was greatly disappointed."

"Running away doesn't help you with your problems Unless you're fat. Then yeah, run."

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks having sex? Relative humidity!"

"Has anyone seen what's up with that Subway Jared guy lately?! He got fat again!"

"What's the difference between arguing with a girl and arguing with a knife? The knife has a point"

"LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied"

"Apparently, I've got Rationalitis. I wouldn't know if it weren't for the check-up; it's asymptotic."

"Create your own Bermuda Triangle! Just surround yourself with a wife & two kids, then watch all your hopes & dreams mysteriously disappear!"

"Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head."