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Joke of the Day

"THE MERMAID WHY DID THE MERMAID WEAR SEASHELLS? BECAUSE SHE GREW OUT OF HER B-SHELLS !!! BADA BUM !!!"

"An alarm clock that texts your boss for you the fifth time you press snooze"

"What do you call a suicidal cat? Curiosity."

"So, being a mirror inspector... ...is a job I could really see myself doing."

"Stop giving me life advice, people who don't know how crocodiles have sex."

"Son: what will happen when I die? Me [lowers newspaper]: there'll be a lot of left over sandwiches & then we'll turn your room into a gym"

"There were two guys fishing... Suddenly a hedgehog passes by and asks them: -""Hey guys do you have any glue""? They answer no and he leaves. Ten minutes later he comes back. -""I brought some"""

"How fast can a woman fuck? 68km/h, because at 69 she flips over and blows a rod."

"What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator? - ""Man, this place ROCKS!"" (from Stephen King - The Cell)"

"I went to a restaurant last night and had the Wookie steak... It was a little Chewy..."