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Joke of the Day

"The amount of tinder matches I've gotten has skyrocketed since I changed my interests from ""Murdering"" to ""Not Murdering"""

"if you love something set it free. except Shamu.. we all love Shamu but he must be imprisoned forever"

"Dont do phone sex Or you'll get hearing aids"

"I've been ignoring these dirty dishes for 47 minutes and they still haven't taken the hint. It's just awkward now..."

"How do Russians drive to Alaska? By bearing straight"

"I added Paul Walker on Xbox Live He spends a lot of time on the dashboard."

"Why do people smile in Africa? So they won't run into each other in the dark."

"I'm writing a book on how to be sneaky... ...It's a lurk in progress."

"Who wins between a black guy and a fencing champion? Black guy, because nword is mightier than sword."

"Two crows sitting on a fence. Attempted murder."