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Joke of the Day
"I added Paul Walker on Xbox Live He spends a lot of time on the dashboard."
Next Joke
"If my 6 year old tells me someone was ""mean to him"" I never know if they stole his bike or tried to cook him a healthy meal."
"I wanted to major in reverse psychology. My dream school turned me down. So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma."
"What would you name a prequel to a story about a man who doesn't age Personally I'm happy with 'The Picture of Ionian Gray'"
"I'm not sure faith can move mountains... But we all know what it can do to skyscrapers. EDIT: Thanks for the love. More people have upvoted this post than have died in the attacks."
"Facebook is where you'll find people sharing screenshots of sarcastic tweets and commenting ""stupid""."
"When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years... I dunno...I don't have 2020 vision."
"MOVIES: Ok, time for bed kiddo. *child kisses parents and goes to bed MY HOUSE: Time for bed. *mixed martial acrobatics is now a sport"
"What do you call a dog on the beach? Sandy Claws Merry Christmas"
"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles"