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Joke of the Day

"So there's a flash flood warning in my area. I didn't know floods could be exhibitionist. *^I'm ^so ^sorry*"

"Never go to a combination dentist / proctologist..... but if you do, get the dental work first."

"What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp? Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!"

"Removed my spanx slip and accidentally ricocheted myself into the neighbors backyard."

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk? Utter despair."

"Three small children walk into a bar... These kids not used to times square"

"This was the funniest joke in the world when I was five. why did the chicken cross the road roll in the dirt and cross the road again? because he was a dirty double crosser!"

"Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?"

"Why was the whittler banned from his synagogue? Because he made his rabbi a little cross."