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Joke of the Day

"So there's a flash flood warning in my area. I didn't know floods could be exhibitionist. *^I'm ^so ^sorry*"

"My ex wife. Ya know, my ex-wife still misses me. But 'ER aim is gettin' better."

"My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue. I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste."

"sometimes i get frustrated because u cant put numbers in caps 12 am I screaming? you'll never know"

"CS:GO's New One-Shot Revolver http://blog.counter-strike.net/index.php/2015/12/13288/"

"I got this ""breathe"" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder."

"My dentist tells me to floss my teeth daily. I wish he'd leave me alone."

"Plans to make the new TV series, CSI Baton Rouge were scrapped yesterday. The producers discovered that nobody has any dental records and everybody has the same DNA!"

"Why is Jesus black? Because he's our father, and still hasn't come back yet...."

"I keep my monocle freshly waxed so it easily slips out of my eye socket and falls into my cup of tea whenever I'm shocked by your behavior."