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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk? Utter despair."

"""Pff, I liked bread before it was sliced."" - Hipster baker."

"How many apples a day does it take to keep everybody else away"

"My girlfriend hates when I say ""I've got a surprise for you... in my pants."", then I unzip my pants and a squirrel jumps out and bites her."

"look son... rome wasnt built in Ade!! rome was built in I-TA-LY. do u even kno where Ade is?! A-FRI-CA. AFRICA. how r u goimg to pass school"

"Did you hear about the robbery at the flower shop? It was a violet crime."

"Why do more men die in car crashes than woman? Because women are at the wheel."

"My mother doesn't believe the dough will rise in the oven. She'll believe when she sees the proof."

"My imagination ran away with me, but we're both out of shape and didn't get very far."

"I like my women like Hawaii... Warm, wet, and Asian."