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Joke of the Day

"Her: Let's go shopping. Me: In your dreams. Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi. Me: Why are we still here?"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasaurass."

"Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will"

"The ""cool"" side of your pillow secretly has a lot of the same insecurities that you do."

"What is the difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher says, "" SPIT OUT THAT GUM!"" but a train says, "" CHOO CHOO"""

"Why is your nose in the middle of the face? Because it's the scenter."

"Deer Run Too Fast"

"Found a $50 bill in the laundromat the other day.. I looked to the washer and dryers for clues, but they all told me to Bounce."

"What do logicians use to shave? Occam's razor"

"""You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this"" -Guy who invented shovels"