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Joke of the Day

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"Trump for president! There will be hell toupee"

"Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys? In 2015 humans consumed 65 million tons of bananas and only 8 monkeys."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"

"What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church? A Crystal Methodist."

"Remember: tomorrow is TOPLESS TUESDAY no matter what human resources tells you."

"I want a tattoo but i'm afraid to get one. Not because it's permanent or the pain. I just don't want to talk to a stranger for 7 hours."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? >**Because they lactose**"

"Two guys are busted stealing a calender The both got 6 months"

"What's the definition of suspicion? A nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field."