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Joke of the Day

"'gamer' & 'foodie' are bullshit labels because they suggest you are something b/c you passively enjoy something everyone passively enjoys"

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."

"What do you call a Mexican who acts like a white person? A Juan-a-be"

"What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved at each other."

"What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you."

"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."

"What musical instrument goes with cheese? Picklelo."

"I asked my wife if she wanted me to do anything from Fifty Shades of Gray. She said yes - be handsome and make a billion dollars."

"I want to debate! Someone disagree with me! No."

"A man walks into a bar with a loaded gun ""All right, anyone here that slept with my wife, please step forward. A man from the back of the bar shouts, ""You don't have enough bullets!"""