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Joke of the Day

"I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica."

"To /r/news China just called, they want their censorship back."

"How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia? One steppe at a time."

"A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian. ""Look in the lion's mouth"" the vet told him. ""How do I do that?"" he asked. ""Carefully"" replied the vet."

"Why did the man snort Dr. Pepper? He thought it was Coke!"

"Susie has no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Susie"

"How do elves spell? With an elfabet."

"Apparently there's this guy who steals people's poops and ties them together.. I shit you knot."

"How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet."

"Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics."