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Joke of the Day

"Hey, remember me from last night? You gave me the wrong number but I found you on Facebook. I'm on your porch. Can I come in?"

"What happened to all the people that said YOLO they all died"

"""Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice."""

"I love dry erase boards... They're remarkable."

"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."

"Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed? He said he ""couldn't find a shingle person to do it."""

"What's worse than the Holocaust? Winning the jackpot in two separate lotteries at the same time."

"Confucius say....... ........woman who fly in plane upside down, crack up."

"Husband's early morning farts sound like they end with a question mark. The answer is ""No."""

"When I was little, I remember falling asleep on the sofa and waking up in bed. Now that I'm older, I find myself passing out on the sofa and waking up on the floor."