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Joke of the Day

"I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B."

"A guy walks into a bar... ouch"

"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because it ain't murder if they had it comin'!"

"My wife was so sick this morning... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast."

"Why cant some one stay straight while playing hide n seek in IKEA?... ...cuz they'll have to come out of the closet at some point."

"Coffee... If you're British, it may not be your cup of tea."

"You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach. Oh Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side."

"[NSFW] A baby was born with no eye lids. . So they used the skin from his circumcision to make them. They said he'll be alright, just a little cockeyed."

"What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."