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Joke of the Day

"I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B."

"How do cops get rid of flies? They call in a S.W.A.T. team"

"Oxygen tried to pick a fight with Helium Helium didn't react at all, he simply rose above, Carbon was watching the whole thing and said, ""That's very noble of you"""

"Where does Donald Trump store his books? The fireplace."

"What do call it when actor Charles Dance tries to flirt? Dance moves."

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I can't make a vitamin"

"I started working on my 2nd million this year... Gave up on the first..."

"Broken pencils are pointless."

"Vacuuming My vacuum cleaner sucks!"

"I'm a hard core Trekkie except instead of Star Trek, alcohol."