185236

Joke of the Day

"You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach. Oh Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side."

"I think God is for the legalization of marijuana. After all, the Bible is full of people getting stoned."

"As an artist, I'm not comfortable drawing people's butts. You gotta draw the line somewhere.."

"What's the similarity between your zero-exercise lifestyle and a professional weight-lifter competing in the Olympics? They both involve muscles and they both result in a-trophy."

"What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman? A pregnant woman is in Labour"

"What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"I finally found love!! It's on page 364 in the dictionary."

"My mother didn't want me to go to culinary school. She said it would be a high whisk environment."

"A cattle truck passed me on the highway He was haulin' ass"

"You had me at- well, you're breathing and female. That's about the point you had me."