185236

Joke of the Day

"You can't have any more chocolates tonight. It's not good for you to go to bed on a full stomach. Oh Mum. I promise I'll lay on my side."

"From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, ""Yup"" & walk away."

"What do you call an overweight Scott Walker? Scott Waddler"

"I thought Ali was just shaken up a bit... But I guess he's down for the count."

"Where do puppies go when they die? Back into the microwave so I can get in another round."

"i just dropped my phone without the case on it and i can't tell what hit the ground faster my phone or my tears"

"Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ""funny uncle"" in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???"

"My aunt called me a basket case so I swallowed all of her decorative, weaved pieces of art that hold things to show her."

"Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories."

"My friend text me 'what are you doing now?' I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'."