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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar... ouch"

"Q: Where does Napolean keep his armies? A: In his sleevies!"

"Dicks are like bullets Small calibers don't penetrate shit, and the exploding ones really fuck you up."

"We will always be important enough to fit into someone's motive. However, that is not the kind of importance we want to carry around"

"Wife. I'm going to bed. Me. Nooo! Don't leave me alone with the fridge."

"You wanna know the most HUMOROUS person I know? My Chiropractor, he really cracks me up"

"I love horror movies until it's time to do laundry in the basement and I have to run up the stairs before a scary force pulls me back down."

"This one time, a work colleague declared The Avengers to be a better film than The Dark Knight. That was a busy day in HR, I can tell you."

"What's green and smells like ham? Kermit the frog's finger"

"Pick up line#375: hey are you a school? Because i want to shoot kids inside you."