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Joke of the Day

"I've got butterflies in my stomach... That's the last time I eat a cocoon."

"I watched the bonus features on a porn movie today. It just showed a woman crying in the shower, washing all the cum out of her hair."

"The number 13579 walks into a bar... barman says ""sorry, can't serve you, you're too odd"""

"She says talking to me is like talking to a kid. Therapist: And how many years has this been going on? *holds up 6 fingers* This many"

"Yes I have exams. No, I'm not easily distracted. Yes, my shadow is interesting."

"Let's do away with the 140-character limit for all, and have each person's limit equal his or her IQ."

"I know so much about cars All I need to see is their headlights and I can tell exactly which way they're going."

"Boob Size Grades A ---> Almost Boobs B ---> Barely there C ---> Can't Complain! D ---> Damn! DD ---> Double damn! E ---> Enormous! F ---> Fake G ---> Get a reduction!"

"What's the stupidest animal in the Jungle? A Polar Bear"

"Why do molluscs only think of themselves? Because they're shellfish"