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Joke of the Day

"I know so much about cars All I need to see is their headlights and I can tell exactly which way they're going."

"Happy Valentines Day. And Merry Christmas to FTD, Hallmark and Zales."

"Why are furries always found guilty at trial? A furry curries only fury from a jury."

"People that say ""money can't buy happiness"" either have no money or buying the wrong things."

"Everyone uses body wash these days. What happened to good old-fashion soap? Is it too basic?"

"Did this many people have birthdays before Facebook?"

"[The Twitter Breakdown of 2015] Angry mobs storm the streets, forcing clever wordplay down the throats of unsuspecting, innocent bystanders"

"For Christmas, my wife wanted something that would go from zero to 160 in 4 seconds So I bought her a new scale."

"Do you have a turn down? Turn down for what?"

"A boomerang walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Hey, I thought I threw you out of here!"""