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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend from Armenia who disagrees with everything I say just for the heck of it. He's such a Contrarian."

"Hey grandson, what's the name of that german man who makes me go crazy? Alzheimer, grandma, Alzheimer..."

"I like my Women, like I Like my Water. Free"

"We're having a Jamaican hair day at work tomorrow I'm dreading it already."

"Shoulder Devil: So I say ""Go on--do it!"" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?"

"What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone? McRIP"

"Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone. It could have been a real game changer."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. She holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the knickers."

"what's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? ...I have a boner."