51536

Joke of the Day

"Too bad Anne Frank never watched Home Alone. It could have been a real game changer."

"After Dante was Iced He went to the ""Inferno"" cause it was warm :P"

"Torn this election season. I think it would be awesome to have the first woman president. But I'm also curious about the apocalypse."

"Xerxes I is the most successful carpet dealer. He went to the West with a million Persians and came home with only a handful of them."

"My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support."

"What do you have when there's balls on your chest? Chestnuts What do you have when there's balls on your chin? A dick in your mouth."

"When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change .... except the direction I'm walking in."

"So a homeless guy asked me to give him $20 to hold him off until payday. I asked him when payday was, and he replied, ""How would I know, you're the one who's working."""

"How did the sailor deal with the death of his friend? He sent out a message in remorse code."

"I'm sorry, everyone who wrote stay cool in my yearbooks"