205585

Joke of the Day

"Shoulder Devil: So I say ""Go on--do it!"" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?"

"What happened when the mexicans wife passed out on a hot day? He had a hispanic attack"

"Prankcalling the NSA like is my refrigerator running?"

"When I think of a good tweet in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it's too late."

"Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out."

"Son asked me what a cowlick is To which I replied, thats what you call giving oral to Adele."

"A beautiful woman is walking down the street..... A man says to her ""can I smell your pussy?"" She shouts ""No!"" He replies ""Oh, It must be your asshole."""

"What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan? ""I'm in, but I'm not decent."""

"What do boats and fourier transforms have in common? Both sinc when rect."

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera."