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Joke of the Day

"I have pet snakes, turtles, and lizards. They are a family but I think they hate each other. I think I have A reptile disfunction."

"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."

"Just wrote a musical composition about pedophiles... ""Dick"" in A minor"

"Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut? They didn't like the barbershop Cortez."

"He called me ugly.... I called him an ambulance."

"White trash girl How do you get a white trash girl to suck your dick? Dip it in ranch dressing."

"not enough holes in walls any more, not like the glory days."

"Somewhere in an alternative universe a girl is kissing a frog hoping it turns back into her charming prince but instead it only turns into the artist formerly known as prince"

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."

"A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight."