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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut? They didn't like the barbershop Cortez."

"Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly."

"I have a terrible habit of telling people when I have to take a shit. Heh, gotcha."

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"Kids wont go to sleep so I'm playing hide&seek. And now they'll never find me, because they aren't old enough to drive or get into this bar."

"What's worse than waking up at a party with a penis drawn on your face? Finding out it was traced."

"What would Inception: The Porno be called? Contraception."

"I went to the zoo to see some wild animals, however they had only one animal It was a shitzu."

"Ms Piggy... http://imgur.com/BtVKY"

"My friend just told me he's opening up an underground water storage facility. Oh, three of them, actually. Well, well, well..."