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Joke of the Day

"When I was 18, I wanted to buy a brand new motorbike, but my mother forbid it. She explained that she had a brother who died in a motorbike crash when he was 18, and so I could have his instead."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue when he drank his coffee? ....Because he drank it before it was cool."

"My Girlfriend wanted me to give her anal. I said fuck that shit."

"What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing. Fruits can't talk. Idiot."

"How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime? Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)"

"I am man. Hear me ask my wife for permission to roar."

"What pokemon spys on you while he has a cold? Peek achoo!"

"Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot."

"Why is a miscarriage like a shitty pizza? They're both cold upon delivery."

"Girl Logic: I'd like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less."