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Joke of the Day

"Just place a STUDENT DRIVER sticker on top of your car, and suddenly no one suspects you of drunk driving at 8am."

"LPT: Be thorough with everything you do and you'll struggle not to succeed!"

"Q: What did the finger say to the thumb? A: I'm in glove with you."

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain."

"Physics Joke A photon walks into a hotel and the bellman says ""can I help you with your bags?"" And the photon replies, ""no it's ok, I'm traveling light."""

"Do You Want to Play a Game Buddy? http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/wanna-play-the-rape-game.jpg"

"I drank so much wine last night when i walked across the dance floor to get another glass, i won the dance competition."

"Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit. Bilbo is 7' 6"" now."

"Picturing all of your organs, just laying there pulsating under your skin, is a pretty terrible way to try to fall asleep."