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Joke of the Day

"What does a prostitute and a lawyer have in common? They both screw you for $300 per hour. What's the difference? Most prostitutes have standards."

"Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a freak."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One says to the other: ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms."

"I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside."

"A mango told an apple ""I love you"" Actually it was a passionfruit, not a mango"

"I like my women like I like my coffee... In an airtight bag in the freezer."

"*runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh"

"Man walks into taxidermist. Asks a deer ""you want a bite of my sandwich?"" Deer replies ""No thanks I'm STUFFED!"""