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Joke of the Day

"Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms."

"What do you call a horny Welshman on top of the Space Needle? Sheepless in Seattle"

"So I decided to finally try one of those vegan stores It might have been the single most disappointing experience of my life they didn't have a single vegan for me to purchase"

"Always look both ways before crossing a woman."

"Intelligence always beats good looks. But just to be safe I've got both covered."

"It was that time of the month. I said to the wife, 'you know, your mouth isn't bleeding...' She replied, 'yours will be if you keep up with that shit'"

"One time I walked into KFC It was dark in there."

"Occasionally, I like to go to Walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier"

"Why don't prostitutes vote? They don't care who gets in"

"What does JK Rowling text her friends to let them know that she was just kidding :("