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Joke of the Day

"I can't wait for hillary to become president and appoint bernie sanders as her vice president ""I did not have sexual relations with that man"""

"A blind man walks into a bar... ...and a table... and a chair."

"My neighbour was about to lose his house. So i decided to organise a neighbourhood wide charity orgy to help him. It was truly awe inspiring to see the whole neighbourhood come together like that."

"I gave her my heart but what she really needed was kidney transplant..."

"My 1-year-old stabbed a stuffed animal with a broken plastic spoon. She learned to fight in prison."

"Never end a sentence with a preposition For example: The boy had no one to play a preposition. Wait... I think I gave two examples above."

"What happened when Curiosity took Accusation out on a date? She aroused suspicion."

"Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy."

"A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining."

"I like to bring ants on planes and say ""All the people down there look like you!"" They can't understand me, but they like the company."