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Joke of the Day

"I like to bring ants on planes and say ""All the people down there look like you!"" They can't understand me, but they like the company."

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"Just a quick plug for the /r/antiantijokes subreddit It's absurd"
"Why doesn't Hellen Keller play piano? Because she's fucking dead."
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"First post and an original How much does a Chinese elephant weigh? .................. Wonton"
"I'm in the middle of hanging myself. The suspense is killing me."
"If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong."
"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."
"Press control, alt, and down arrow key. it's fun."