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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted mathematician? The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes when he's speaking to you."

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"If you want to break your addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers... you need to quit cold turkey."
"In hindsight, using the word ""harder"" as the safe word, was not the best idea."
"Why was Crassus bad at insults? He never really got the hang of Parthian shots."
"I use to have mad cow Disease But I'm alright Nooooooooooooooooooow."
"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"
"I took the batterys out of my carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping the whole week, and my roof told me to."
"What's innuendo? It's Italian for ""suppository""."
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years? In a mirror."
"Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ? Must have been a duck family A duck family ? Didn't you say there was a quack in it !"
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